Soul food at dusk

[Alsiony]

(Withdrawn for competition)

[lonndubh]

Hi Alsiony
I love this piece and thanks for sharing it here.
It has a transitory and an 'almost there' feel to it.
On the the things that interests me greatly about writing is when it is written.By this I mean the date and time and particularly a piece like this which is so reflective of nature

[iveta]

This nature is merciless,
It is brutally beautiful.

I'm not sure if I am qualified to comment on the totality of the poem,
but I like these lines very much. On strenght, power and beauty....

[Alsiony]

Hi Lonndubh and Iveta

Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my ramblings!

I started writing this particular piece one evening in November last year, while I was visiting a woods not too far from where I live ( -the landscape is amazing and inspiring in almost any part of Wales though, it has to be said! I am very lucky to be here I feel.)
Since then I have been working on it at intervals, but I wrote the basic skeleton of it down in my notebook at the time.

I really appreciate your feedback on it. It is a new experience for me to put something I have written 'out there' so to speak - thankyou again for leaving comments
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[Cate]

Hi Alsiony,

I like the tone that you've set with this piece. I can easily imagine a woman at the base of an oak tree looking small in such vastness, the fading sun barely making it's way through the 'spider webbed' canopy.

Some lines that stood out to me were;

The vast canopy -
spider-webbed with failing light.

You've done an excellent job of capturing this image in a few words - I can easily see it and feel like I'm there.

Here there are no lies -
Only truths and secrets.

It's a nice distinction, it also adds to that feeling of having left one world and entered another. Your use of the terms cradle and naked also gave that being born into another world feeling.

All the best,

Cate

[Alsiony]

Thanks for your comments Cate
It's really nice to know that some of the imagery comes through so well (as in the way I meant it when writing it).

I am kinda fascinated by the duplicity that I sometimes feel as a human being. Caught between two worlds... one minute I am existing in a land of plastic carrier-bags (and all that they represent), and in the next breath I am being blown away by a sunset at the coast! I find the apparent divide between those two world very frustrating at times. Nothing new in all of that- I am not unique I know.

I did once attempt a course in Sociology, which I had to give up on due to family commitments at the time - and that was a shame really because I found I strongly disagreed with some of the fundamental messages I gleaned from those few lectures, including the idea that human instincts are in actual fact a complete fallacy.
Instinctively speaking - I fine that really hard to accept

Thanks again for taking the time to post
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[iveta]

please continue writing Alsiony

when Cate wrote

You've done an excellent job of capturing this image in a few words

it occured to me that you might be very good in combinind strong image with insightfull abstraction, which is great gift

but this is just my humble opinion

and don't worry about insticts
maybe we do have them, but we also have a sort of superego,
a disposition that we can transcendent ourselves.....

this is my even more humble opinion

all the best

i

[Alsiony]

Hi iveta

Thankyou for your lovely comments - I really appreciate you taking the time to say

I guess that many people find life to be a bit of a juxta-position at times!- and for many different reasons too (-obvious thing to say I know!) - but I agree that the more positive aspect of it all, is the chance of exploration that it can provide.

For example; on one hand we hand we have celebrities and the media, on the other hand we have real stars and planets shining over our heads every evening- the situation feels kind of unique really!
Best Wishes
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