The Bird Flew

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Gullivor
Posts: 332
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:51 pm

The Bird Flew

Post by Gullivor »

The bird flew left
The bird flew right
The bird flew up
The bird flew down
The bird flew all around.
We’ve all come to
This moment
To find out
Who we are.
Painted colors
Scribed words
Sweetly found.
~Gully~
Lion of Lions
Posts: 387
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Lion of Lions »

Gullivor wrote:The bird flew left
The bird flew right
The bird flew up
The bird flew down
The bird flew all around.


The bird got tangled in the wire and its head took a detached attitude thereafter, hooray! Death to the bird.
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Gullivor
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Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:51 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Gullivor »

In the birds death he found no wires or any other obstacles to get in the way. And then he understood those things were never really obstacles to begin with. The bird himself or herself clearly saw the only real obstacles was himself/herself...and now that is gone the bird is indeed free.
We’ve all come to
This moment
To find out
Who we are.
Painted colors
Scribed words
Sweetly found.
~Gully~
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Gullivor
Posts: 332
Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:51 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Gullivor »

Then the bird picked up a box of crayons and started from scatch.
We’ve all come to
This moment
To find out
Who we are.
Painted colors
Scribed words
Sweetly found.
~Gully~
lonndubh
Posts: 1219
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:07 am
Location: Ireland

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by lonndubh »

Gullivor wrote:Then the bird picked up a box of crayons and started from scatch.
and deciding that the only real obstacles was himself/herself and made of himself/herself a Light :?
Lion of Lions
Posts: 387
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Lion of Lions »

the bird was an indecisive, unattractive, feathery twat and deserves nothing or even less.
lonndubh
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Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:07 am
Location: Ireland

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by lonndubh »

Lion of Lions wrote:the bird was an indecisive, unattractive, feathery twat and deserves nothing or even less.
Might have been the same little feathery twat that flew smack into my windscreen just now :(
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Gullivor
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Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:51 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Gullivor »

Could of been...we will never know because the bird got what he deserved.. "less then nothing".
We’ve all come to
This moment
To find out
Who we are.
Painted colors
Scribed words
Sweetly found.
~Gully~
imaginary friend
Posts: 1371
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:09 am
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by imaginary friend »

How many times does this poor bird have to die?

I think Gullivor's point is that we flit around looking for meaning here there and everywhere, and the more we do so, the more elusive it remains, and the more we flit, and the more elusive...
lonndubh
Posts: 1219
Joined: Sun Mar 23, 2008 4:07 am
Location: Ireland

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by lonndubh »

imaginary friend wrote:
I think Gullivor's point is that we flit around looking for meaning here there and everywhere, and the more we do so, the more elusive it remains, and the more we flit, and the more elusive...
Very well might be Gullivor's point
Or might not Be at all
imaginary friend
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Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:09 am
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by imaginary friend »

Yes Lonndubh, and yet here I am, flitting around, looking for meaning in Gullivor's words, and the more I do, the more elusive... :lol:
lonndubh
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Location: Ireland

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by lonndubh »

Through a hole in reasons ceiling .............
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brightnow
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Location: Pittsburgh

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by brightnow »

Maybe he caught the bird flu?
Columbia May 11, 2009; Boston May 29, 2009; Durham November 3, 2009; Las Vegas December 10 & 11, 2010; Austin November 1, 2012; Boston December 15, 2012; Brooklyn December 20, 2012
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Gullivor
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Joined: Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:51 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Gullivor »

:roll:
We’ve all come to
This moment
To find out
Who we are.
Painted colors
Scribed words
Sweetly found.
~Gully~
Lion of Lions
Posts: 387
Joined: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:49 pm

Re: The Bird Flew

Post by Lion of Lions »

there is only one true test of poetry, can you replace any word with "yellow banana" without hurting the poem.

let me experiment

Gullivor wrote

The bird flew left
The bird flew right
The bird flew up
The bird flew down
The bird flew all around.


I wrote

The yellow banana flew left
The yellow banana flew right
The yellow banana flew up
The yellow banana flew down
The yellow banana flew all around.



see what I mean.

if I was really radical I would change the original to read

yellow banana yellow banana
yellow banana yellow banana
yellow banana yellow banana
yellow banana yellow banana
yellow banana yellow banana


the last version still contains the essential Gullivorosity of the original and yet, in a subtle way, has as well that extra yellowish bananaish ingredientish.
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