I like

[lazariuk]

I like that they can
unfreeze the house
so we are not always
housing freezes

[abby]

Boo!

[lazariuk]

Boo!

Ha ha

How about?

when we
unfreeze the house
we are not
housing freezes

[abby]

One of the many things that I appreciate about you is your careful use of language. Sometimes it's hard to understand when an important idea is put forth in awkward language. I get that that can be the best mode of expression if it allows for the expression of truth. So while I don't like the language of your poem, I have considered it likely that the awkward language exposes a truth that needs exposing.

Are you saying that you like the atmosphere in a house to be warm in the welcoming way? What the hell is a freeze? Who are the they? What experience do I have of someone coming along and unfreezing something for me? Why not use the word thaw? Is it that children can dispel the tension in a house? What are the freezes you (pl.) house?

xoxo

[lazariuk]

One of the many things that I appreciate about you is your careful use of language. Sometimes it's hard to understand when an important idea is put forth in awkward language. I get that that can be the best mode of expression if it allows for the expression of truth. So while I don't like the language of your poem, I have considered it likely that the awkward language exposes a truth that needs exposing.

Are you saying that you like the atmosphere in a house to be warm in the welcoming way? What the hell is a freeze? Who are the they? What experience do I have of someone coming along and unfreezing something for me? Why not use the word thaw? Is it that children can dispel the tension in a house? What are the freezes you (pl.) house?

xoxo

Hi Abby

I am not really fond myself of what I wrote there and so I don't mind tearing it apart and throwing it away. I was stealing something that someone else wrote that i liked that went
Now, there's a certain thing
That I learned from my friend, Mouse
A fella who always blushes
And that is that ev'ryone
Must always flush out his house
If he don't expect to be
Goin' 'round housing flushes.

i liked the way he turned flush out his house to housing flushes and it led me to thinking about people freezing with where their poetry is headed, having freezes and toying with the idea of how people can help and then I thought of the people who seem to do so.

Is it that children can dispel the tension in a house?

I like that thought better than my own.