What exactly is an A**hole?

[Geoffrey]

Violet asked:
>Geoffrey, are you game?

it may not be up to me. perhaps there are no coincidences. perhaps no one is watching over me and i am all on my own. these questions have to be dealt with first, as i don't know whether or not i have free will. maybe i don't choose, i just think i do.

[Cate]

yes, yes ... but do you know how to use a whisk and have you ever tickled a woman's belly with a silicone basting brush ... I think Violet wants private answers though.

oh by the way if it's free will you wish to play with - I.F. might be able to help out, I'm not sure which utensils you would need though

[lazariuk]

... no Jack... run to your local dvd rental place and try the Reese Witherspoon version (her name actually has kitchen potential)... anyway, I remember it being fun and funny (and you can pretend you read it instead)...

Nope, can't do the dvd rental thing, that is not in the cards these days.

... and no, I wasn't inviting you into my kitchen (we don't know each other that well yet -- 'cause come on.. things do tend to happen in the kitchen..)... but I am looking for suggestions... do you have a text I might turn into kitchen wallpaper??

[/quote]

I am thinking of kitchens as a place where people meet for tea and maybe some of those little things that are sweet and yummy that look like quarter moons or wedges of oranges. I would need to know more about your kitchen before suggesting wallpaper. I do appreciate that sometimes it can get too hot in the kitchen but I know where I might go when that happens.

[Violet]

Violet asked:
>Geoffrey, are you game?

it may not be up to me. perhaps there are no coincidences. perhaps no one is watching over me and i am all on my own. these questions have to be dealt with first, as i don't know whether or not i have free will. maybe i don't choose, i just think i do.

... oh, I get it, Geoffrey.. you're really just a little boy who didn't get enough love.. your comment has me thinking of this old tune (something my mother sang quite beautifully, by the way)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlgWm7Yly-I
FULL SCREEN...

.. but you also need some disciplining, methinks.. I.F.? (our resident dominatrix)... Well, while we're waiting for I.F. to show up and take out that little whip of hers or whatever other little (kitchen?) gadgets she's got going, I'll put in my two cents.. Now, Geoffrey just realize once and for all that you do have free will, and that you are responsible for your actions.. make that your mantra for a while, and let's see how you do...

cautiously,

v i o l e t (flower)

[Violet]

... no Jack... run to your local dvd rental place and try the Reese Witherspoon version (her name actually has kitchen potential)... anyway, I remember it being fun and funny (and you can pretend you read it instead)...

Nope, can't do the dvd rental thing, that is not in the cards these days.

... and no, I wasn't inviting you into my kitchen (we don't know each other that well yet -- 'cause come on.. things do tend to happen in the kitchen..)... but I am looking for suggestions... do you have a text I might turn into kitchen wallpaper??

I am thinking of kitchens as a place where people meet for tea and maybe some of those little things that are sweet and yummy that look like quarter moons or wedges of oranges. I would need to know more about your kitchen before suggesting wallpaper. I do appreciate that sometimes it can get too hot in the kitchen but I know where I might go when that happens.

Jack.. I'm sorry about the dvd situation.. that movie would cheer you up I think... as to my kitchen/s... in the city, well actually in the country too, I have these stainless industrial stoves and fridges.. in the city the cabinets are rather sleek and modern.. cherry wood looking.. with white brick patterned tile on the walls... In the country, I'd like to have simple, country white cabinets with old fashioned bread box pulls 'n things... (.. it's a neverending fixer upper situation, I'm afraid)..

.. oh, sorry I misunderstood your kitchen remark.. I just assumed you meant our having sex on the counters (silly me)..

.. anyway, I hope that's enough info. for you, and that you can come up with a country wallpaper text and a city one as well.. (I'm really getting to be a tough task master).. (I.F... I think you're influencing me)..

eagerly awaiting kitchen verse,
v i o l e t

[Violet]

yes, yes ... but do you know how to use a whisk and have you ever tickled a woman's belly with a silicone basting brush ... I think Violet wants private answers though.

oh by the way if it's free will you wish to play with - I.F. might be able to help out, I'm not sure which utensils you would need though

.. Cate, I think we've just begun to scratch the surface with this.. to be continued, I'm sure.

kitchenette v i o l e t t e xxx

[lazariuk]

eagerly awaiting kitchen verse,
v i o l e t

Did you like it?

[Violet]

I am thinking of kitchens as a place where people meet for tea and maybe some of those little things that are sweet and yummy that look like quarter moons or wedges of oranges. I would need to know more about your kitchen before suggesting wallpaper. I do appreciate that sometimes it can get too hot in the kitchen but I know where I might go when that happens.

.. oh.. did you mean the above was the verse?.. if so, it's a bit thin.. but maybe I can work with it.. is it for city or country?.. or -- what do you mean, exactly, Jack?

v i o l e t

[lazariuk]

.. oh.. did you mean the above was the verse?.. if so, it's a bit thin.. but maybe I can work with it.. is it for city or country?.. or -- what do you mean, exactly, Jack?

My thank-you verse exactly.

[Violet]

eagerly awaiting kitchen verse,
v i o l e t

Oh, you meant this was the verse (!)... (and now, well, this)... As verse goes.. this is somehow perverse... (I like it)..

v i o l e t

[lazariuk]

eagerly awaiting kitchen verse,
v i o l e t

Oh, you meant this was the verse (!)... (and now, well, this)... As verse goes.. this is somehow perverse... (I like it)..

v i o l e t

You don't get out much, do you? This bathroom is not the only room in the house.

[Violet]

.. I thought we were in the kitchen?

[lazariuk]

.. I thought we were in the kitchen?

Didn't you see IF's suggestion of nothing anal in the kitchen? Seemed like a good suggestion to me. You know what might happen if you don't listen to your friends.

[Violet]

... okay.. so if I can follow you correctly.. to you this verse of ours, which perhaps you are likening to being rather British, must of course (therefore) be anal*, and therefore cannot, should not, be in the kitchen (as per I.F.'s edict)? -- Jack, if you don't go to a friend's house (who rents dvds) and watch that film right away, I may have to take you over my pretty little knee.. hmm..

.. now where was I?.. Oh, I was saying what I was saying (before the spanking part, I mean) because it seems as if we are becoming Oscar Wilde's characters somehow.. there's a very pleasing ridiculousness throughout.. oh, and I like your tie, by the way, Jack.. is it William Morris? (it's growing on me)...

pleased,

v i o l e t (how about us moving to the enclosed porch?)..

* I wanted to amend this by saying that the Brits are not, to my knowledge "anal," as in the pop psych parlance used at least by us Americans, but that they are preoccupied, if not obsessed with, anality.. or at least the men are, it would seem.. as well as those male subjects inhabiting the related kingdoms.. methinks.. though perhaps not as much...

[Violet]

Jack.. a helpful little faerie told me that the following is your kitchen poem:


Thank you Sue
by lazariuk on Wed May 27, 2009 10:25 am

I will try to be wise my friend
make my verse clean and neat
so it can fit the metre,
so it doesn't miss the beat
to find a way is tell those folks
who live on Boogie Street
there might just be a place to go
when they can't take the heat.


Is this true??.. and if so, I'd like your line by line analysis, in the context of kitchendom that is.. double spaced, if you please, so I can add my nonsense...

professorially,
v i o l e t (flower)