dilemma!! Dance Me.. - for a bridal waltz?

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nogs
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dilemma!! Dance Me.. - for a bridal waltz?

Post by nogs »

Hi everyone, i have just stumbled across this forum in a slight panic...

My wedding is coming up in 2 months and i've always loved the idea of "Dance me to the End of Love" as my bridal waltz. However, only yesterday did I find out that this song was apparently inspired by the Holocaust! This was never my interpretation and i'm shocked that this is apparently the real meaning

I am jewish so i would be devastated if anyone at the wedding thought we were dancing to a song about the holocaust....

I would be grateful to hear the views of the forum as to whether or not this song is suitable for a bridal waltz??

thanks all!
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh »

Welcome to the Forum :D , Nogs, with your valid question; even moreso with your being Jewish. My feeling on your wanting to have that song as your bridal waltz is that it's an exquisite song that, in accordance with Leonard's other songs, was written with many layers of meaning. There have been others who have used this beautiful song prominently at their weddings, in the same way you have intended. There will be others who will follow in using it, as well. Leonard is Jewish and he assuredly did not write this song to glorify the Holocaust. He wrote a beautiful song that involves the Holocaust, with love as a force that binds and fortifies in the most desperate of circumstances. For you to play and dance to this song at your wedding would be honouring love in this very way. We never know what life will bring, yet love unifies us against the worst of it. I hope you won't be dissuaded from following what has been your heart's desire for "Dance Me to the End of Love." We should all be so fortunate as to have someone in our lives willing to do just that. You are blessed, Nogs. I hope to hear you danced beautifully and proudly at your wedding. Leonard's song is perfect for such a meaningful tradition.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth
nogs
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Post by nogs »

thanks Lizzytysh, you have made me feel better about this! It is such a beautiful song, it would be so disappointing not to be able to use it as our bridal dance

if anyone has any other views i'd be grateful to hear them...
kieron
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Post by kieron »

I agree wholeheartedly with Lizzy. I wanted to use the same tune at my wedding but was overruled by wifey, more to do with the band than anything else as it was wifey who introduced me to Leonards work all those years ago. Go for it, make the song yours for the day.

You could also consider "Go no more a roving" :D
or
"Tonight will be fine" :D
or even
!I'm your man"
"A terrible beauty is born" WB Yeats.
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh »

Wonderful, Nogs... I'm so pleased to hear that :D ! As you can see, Kieron concurs... and would love to be telling you right now that he played it as his. Unfortunate that the band was apparently unable to do it justice. You could play all three of Kieron's other suggestions for follow-up, fun songs for the occasion. However, for the solemnity that the bridal waltz is intended, "Dance Me . . . " is perfect in every way... right from the very first word of its title. Please let us know how it went. Even if the band was unable to play it, I'd have it piped in over the sound system and dance to it that way. It is such an incredible song and Leonard sings it so beautifully that you can't go wrong whether it's played Live or played over a system. Your guests would understand the latter, once they heard and watched you dance to the song. Good Lord, my eyes are welling, just typing this and imagining it :o . Yes ~ go for it, go for it, go for it. Don't miss the moment that your good fortune has allowed you.

~ Lizzy
valhoun
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Post by valhoun »

Yes, you could use "Tonight Will Be Fine" and then spend the next hour explaing to your grandmother that "You're the soft naked lady that love meant you to be." :)
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh »

:lol: Good one, Valhoun :wink: .

~ Lizzy
Squidgy
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Post by Squidgy »

Yes, nogs, do use "Dance Me..." as your bridal waltz. But may I suggest you use the version on the "More Best Of" CD rather than the one on "Various Positions."
In my opinion, the version on "Various Positions" is much too screechy with the female vocals. The "More Best Of" version is softer, more wistful and yearning and oh-so-lovely. And it really does have a burning violin solo.
Congratulations and best wishes for a long and happy life together!
--Squidgy
dar
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Post by dar »

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with my fine friends. I absolutely love Dance Me but...my gut says pick another. The whole tone of the song, to me, takes me toward the end...not the beginning. I know. I know. Most people will probably disagree with me...but I'd say save it for your 50th wedding anniversary and go with something that evokes an amazing celebration and wonderful beginning! It seems to be a very intimate song that the two of you can share in private and from your hearts alone. Since this celebration is with family and friends I think they would have a hard time really knowing where you're coming from on this one and if you want to include them in your "dance" I'd say keep looking for a song.
We Cohen fans are unique to say the least and you will have many private moments with your husband to go this deep. Let's just hope there's no "homicidal bitchin' going down in your kitchen!" (Sorry, but it's one of my fav lines. Dar sending you best wishes!! lol)
Sherry
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Re: Dance Me ...

Post by Sherry »

Hi Nogs,

I agree with Lizzy and the others. Everytime I listen to that song,
I fantasize about using it as a wedding dance. Maybe some day I'll
get that chance. I don't know the ritual involved in a Jewish wedding,
but the idea behind the vows of a Christian marriage is "until death
do us part" (sorry if the idea of death makes some people uncomfortable),
so even is the song was inspired by the Holocaust, I really don't see it
as being inappropriate for a wedding. In fact, I think it makes it doubly
appropriate for that very reason. I think that Lizzy put it much more
eloquently than I can though.

Sherry
valhoun
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Post by valhoun »

Then again, if a Leonard Cohen song is appropriate to represent a couple, there are some pros and cons.

On the positive side, it likely means that the couple is in a deep, meaningful relationship.

On the negative side, it likely means that no one has any business wearing white :).
nogs
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Post by nogs »

thank you all so much for sharing your views, this has definitely given me something to think about. The band who will be playing at our wedding (Monsieur Camembert) actually do an amazing version of Dance Me, which makes us even more keen to use the song. Perhaps i'll have a chat with them and ask their views on appropriateness, as I know they've played it as a bridal waltz before.
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Dem
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Post by Dem »

nogs, I agree with Dar.
Save it for your 50th wedding anniversary or for your divorce (you know, just in case :twisted: ).

And is it really inspired from the Holocaust?
I'd think "Who By Fire" would be the one but with Leonard
you can never know!

Anyway, "Dance me to the End of Love" is in the black list
for me and "Who By Fire" my ...cremation waltz!

Dem
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MonkOverBook
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Post by MonkOverBook »

Hi nogs,

Dance me to the end of love is a great song for a wedding because of its depth and earnest. What I am not sure about is, if suits for a waltz, because I always count even beats, and you'd need a 3/4 bar for a waltz. Perhaps you might do a fox (or something similar, I'm not a dancer) to this one and "dance with" your love "in Vienna", "wearing the river's disguise"??? A very fine piece for waltzing to.

A beautiful wedding and lucky marriage,

Monk
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und auf den Mund, der ihm ant-wortet.
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lightning
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Post by lightning »

Some people would see the similarities between marriage and a concentration camp so it would be a good wedding song all around!
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