Sad news about a Forum friend

News about Leonard Cohen and his work, press, radio & TV programs etc.
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Bobbie
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Bobbie » Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:17 am

A couple of New Year's Eve's ago, the phone rang, and it was Paul. He said he had a lot of minutes to use or lose on his phone, and he was calling Cohenists all around the world. He was so excited to talk to everyone, and there was so much buoyancy and joy in his voice. It was such a surprise, and a wonderful gift to hear from him. Last year, when my mom died, Paul sent me a beautiful email, in which he told me "you'll get used to it, but you'll never get over it." Those words have rung so true, and of all the kind and gentle words I heard at that time, those particular ones were, and still are, the most helpful. I will never forget them.

Later on, in other emails, he said he hadn't been feeling well, but I had no idea he was so sick, and he didn't explain when I asked. I feel so very sad to hear this news, and I'm so sorry for Paul's family, for us, and for all of his friends. Paul was a true gentleman, and a very fine person. I know I could have been a better friend.
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sleep
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by sleep » Thu Jun 28, 2007 9:44 am

A couple of New Year's Eve's ago, the phone rang, and it was Paul. He said he had a lot of minutes to use or lose on his phone, and he was calling Cohenists all around the world. He was so excited to talk to everyone, and there was so much buoyancy and joy in his voice. It was such a surprise, and a wonderful gift to hear from him.
I got one of those phone calls too! It was so delightful. He was the first person from the group I'd ever spoken with, and I remember it very fondly. He was a ridiculously sweet guy. I wish I could have met him in person. I did know that Paul was going to die, but I had hoped he would have more time. We discussed his situation a bit in e-mails, and he was very much his usual, philosophical self. And full of gratitude for the life he was fortunate enough to have. He was just enjoying the autumn leaves down there. Wherever he is, I know that Paul is completely okay.

sleep
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Gypsy_Wife
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Gypsy_Wife » Fri Jun 29, 2007 9:10 pm

I got one of those calls also. He had called the house and my daughter gave him my cell number. Mostly we talked about his son. The previous summer his son was working at a camp near me, Paul and Kay e-mailed to ask if they could use me as his emergency contact, so I was interested in how the young man was doing. Paul seemed so full of joy that he was able to surprise us all like that.

He had told me when he was diagnosed, but he seemed to want to keep it quiet. Once people know you are that sick that seems to be what conversations are about. I think he wanted mostly to have conversations about Leonard and Soccer. After whatever it was I did for his son, Paul invited me to visit, he offered his late mother-in-law's room. I will forever regret that I didn't make the time to go and meet him.
Here's to the few
who forgive what you do
and the fewer who don't even care
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~greg
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by ~greg » Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:12 am

Usually my eyes glaze over and cross when the talk is sports
(except big 8 football, and things like base-ball-card tossing against a brick wall).

So there was no reason at all why I read this ng-post of Paul's,
from earlier this year, other than that it was Paul's.
And therefore worth reading.

I will miss him very much.

Greg.


michael (mickey_one) wrote >
> How are you, Mate? Have you been following the Barnet news.
> History time-
> we have reached the 4th Round of the FA Cup for the first time
> in over 100 years of the Club's existence.

This week has seen 3 special meetings of the Dunedin (NZ) branch of the
Barnet fan club. Last Sunday's postponement, though disappointing, gave
the member a chance to reach the milestone of his 8000th success at
"Freecell."

The full membership enjoyed the success against Colchester later in the
week, and then went back to bed.

A roll call earlier this morning showed that I was once again present for
the victory against Macclesfield. This ensured a full attendance for the
3rd time in a week. I proposed that the club be sent a congratulatory note,
but there was no seconder.
--
Paul
Bob Parkins
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Bob Parkins » Sat Jun 30, 2007 5:21 am

Reviewing these posts, and especially catching Big Al’s re-visiting, in the newsgroup, of Paul’s introduction to the LC world in 2000, makes me think that we should somehow figure out a way – as a community – to honor his memory. That said, I’m at a loss as to what it might be. I suppose the closest precedent is the loss of Sandy Merriman back in 1998 or thereabouts, Jane Danko scattered her ashes off Galveston. There was something right about that, but it doesn’t seem to fit here. In any event – any ideas?

(Not at all averse to tossing a few bucks in to some kitty if it would help, BTW. Whatever works).
---

Parky

"In hindsight, the vandals regret having taken the handles."
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melody57105
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by melody57105 » Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:09 pm

To all who knew him please accept my condolences.
dar
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by dar » Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:48 pm

Parky, I think it would be nice if the Cohen community could somehow convey our thoughts on Paul's passing to his family too. I doubt there is time to deliver something to his memorial service, perhaps a floral arrangment with a card from all of us here?
I too wish I had corresponded with Paul more than once or twice over the years. I never knew about his illness either.
I hope a few of us here did get a chance to share a part of that with him though.
I'm sure Jarkko will reserve a special place for Paul in the files but if there is anything else planned to remember him, of course I will contribute. Perhaps Andrew will post again and let us know if he has any thoughts on this.

Always good to see you Parky!
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Joe Way
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Joe Way » Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:31 am

I sent him a few things and he sent me some in return.

Here is his message to me about sending something:
Hi Joe,

I asked the man at the Post Shop to write down your address for me.

"Joe Way, Lani Lane" I said.

"Joe Lane, Lani Way was it?" he asked.

"No, no, Joe Lani in Way Lane," I said.

"Oh, Way Lani in Joe Lane." He thought he had it now.

"No, No, it's Joe Way in Lani Lane," I said, having checked my piece of paper.

"Right so it's Lane Way in Lani Joe," he confirmed.

So I gave him the piece of paper saying. He looked at it and said, "Joe Way in Lani Lane. They're not pornstars are they? That looks like the names of pornstars when you see them written together like that."

"Don't know," I muttered. "Could be, his eyesight's fucked."

"Whose eyesight, Lane's or Joe's?" I heard him calling. But I was already half-way to the door.

So I hope it arrives OK. None of this would happened if you still lived in Madison. When did you move?

Time I was in bed. Hope you are doing as you are being told.

Best wishes,
Paul.


Then he happened to see the Badgers playing during one of their good times:
Hi Joe,

I hope your heart rate has settled down. It was getting a bit close for comfort towards the end but a win is a win and through to the next round. I followed the game play-by-play on the internet, while watching our cricket team getting dealt to by Australia. We get quite a bit of your college "March Madness" on TV here through ESPN.(but not today)
Then there was this after last Christmas:

Hi Joe,
Meatloaf maintains that 2 out of 3 ain't bad. This time though, the message I sent that you didn't get, was the only one with any news worth reading. I will try to reproduce an abbreviated version.

We had a pretty quiet Xmas attending only the compulsory family functions. Damian gave me a lovely painting he'd done that flatters our old dwelling. It is really well done and I am thrilled with it. I have decided it will be the "family heirloom" that I bequeath future generations of Galvins. The only other xmas gift worth mentioning was the $80 I gave the New Zealand Police for giving me a display of sirens and flashing lights on a car, and telling me how fast I was going. Wasn't that nice of them!
The best, though, is this, his signature:
Till next time my friend,
All the best,
Paul.
He was one of a kind and we are all the better for having known him.

Joe
"Say a prayer for the cowboy..."
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lizzytysh
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by lizzytysh » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:07 am

I've enjoyed following the links to the old ng and reading Paul's postings there; and it is just as enjoyable reading the postings of his that some of you are bringing here.

The post office exchange and the traffic ticket description both had me laughing. These are the kind of remembrances that happen at memorials when the families and loved ones begin to share their memories. It's really good to see it happening here. Thanks to those who are bringing them.


~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
Paul
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Paul » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:38 am

Thank you all for your kind words about Paul. Paul's service was held on Friday 29 June 2007 at St Patrick's in Dunedin, followed by a gathering of his (many) friends and family at his home. It was a lovely service and a good day - he would have enjoyed it.

The eulogy/tribute made mention of this Group, which he obviously adored. The hymn sheet was designed by his son and we thought you would like to see it.
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lizzytysh
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by lizzytysh » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:29 am

Thank you for sharing these, Paul. It's lovely knowing that "Hallelujah" was played in the way it was for Paul's memorial service and seeing the Order of the Unified Hearts insignia imprinted. His son created a beautifully designed work of art for the cover. Very symbolically appropriate and beautiful. It's clear that his memorial service was very meaningful. Thank you, again, for including us in this way.


~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
dar
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by dar » Sun Jul 01, 2007 4:08 pm

I'm also glad that Paul's friends and family knew how special he was to this community.

Thank you for posting this from me too.
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Andrew (Darby)
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Andrew (Darby) » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:02 pm

dar wrote:Parky, I think it would be nice if the Cohen community could somehow convey our thoughts on Paul's passing to his family too. I doubt there is time to deliver something to his memorial service, perhaps a floral arrangment with a card from all of us here?
I too wish I had corresponded with Paul more than once or twice over the years. I never knew about his illness either.
I hope a few of us here did get a chance to share a part of that with him though.
I'm sure Jarkko will reserve a special place for Paul in the files but if there is anything else planned to remember him, of course I will contribute. Perhaps Andrew will post again and let us know if he has any thoughts on this.

Always good to see you Parky!
dar, I'm at a bit of a loss to know what to do, but I'm going to put my mind to it and will post again shortly. I'm sure there is something we can do. I do know that Jarkko is going to convert Paul's BL profile (on the LC fIles) into a memorial entry, but I think we do need to do something more - something we can send to his wife/family. I'm thinking vaguely of something Cohen-related along with words from each of us. Anyway, let's think some more on this!

Andrew (Darby)
'I cannot give the reasons
I only sing the tunes
The sadness of the seasons
The madness of the moons'
~ Mervyn Peake ~
dar
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by dar » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:51 pm

Yes. Absolutely Andrew.

I'm posting almost daily because I'll miss this place when, on Aug. 1st, I'll be off line for a few months and back to the southwestern USA equivalent of the out-back. I'll bet some Auzzie's could give me some tips on collecting that precious water!
I've actually tried a few things, because there should be some rain at my place in August and I've yet to do anything really proper to collect it. (Except for when it fills up any tarps that I have hanging up and then I just punch a hole in them and put a 55 gal. drum under them. Never realize how heavy water is until you have to deal with lots of it.

If I am off line, please let me know if there is an address or some way for me to participate in whatever we do for Paul's family. I don't even have an address for when I return because I have to get another P.O. Box, they don't deliver mail to my place. O, wait...I just remembered...when I do go to town the library has internet access but they only have two computers and I think you have to sign up a year in advance. ha

I hope something will be arranged before I leave.

Thank you Andrew. I know it's not easy to decide what to do.
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Andrew (Darby)
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Re: Sad news about a Forum friend

Post by Andrew (Darby) » Tue Jul 03, 2007 5:01 pm

Okay folk, I'm still not too sure about what we should do for Paul's family, but at least I have come up with one idea that we can discuss:

1. How about selecting a Cohen song, poem or a small excerpt of a prose piece (that Paul has referred to or that we think he would have liked) - those who knew Paul better than I did (eg. Gypsey Wife, Joe, Jack) may wish to suggest something appropriate.
2. Supplement this with our own individual thoughts and words about what Paul meant to those of us who wish to contribute.
3. Get the combined text printed onto an artistically embellished small scroll, with a suitable concluding RIP type of message (and with the Cohen piece differentiated in colour and/or font from our contributions).
4. Then post this to Kay, so she can have it and frame it (or whatever else she chooses to do with it).

I am happy to arrange production of the the printed scroll and pay for the postage (which will be relatively cheap from here to NZ).

(I would also scan the finished item so that we could post it on the Forum and elsewhere.)

Andrew (Darby)
'I cannot give the reasons
I only sing the tunes
The sadness of the seasons
The madness of the moons'
~ Mervyn Peake ~
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