Haiku Corner.

This is for your own works!!!
Andrew McGeever
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Haiku Corner.

Postby Andrew McGeever » Sat Jul 20, 2002 3:57 pm

Haiku is probably the best-known form of Japanese poetry in the West. In English it is often a three-line poem of 17 syllables, arranged 5-7-5. However, a Japanese haiku consists of 17 onji, or sound symbols.These are shorter than our syllables, and some experts have suggested that English haiku should really consist of about 12 syllables!
Confusing?..maybe, but haiku is always supposed to contain an element of discovery, natural images and a seasonal word or allusion. It should be a definite comment on something interesting or unusual. The form does not make the poem!
With that in mind, I thought a section of the poetry forum could be reserved for members and guests to present their haiku offerings. This will not require much in the way of analysis/criticism....the reader either experiences that "haiku moment"....or the reader doesn't.
Please allow me to present 5 haiku, just to start proceedings. They were written by Basho, Alan Spence,Andrew McGeever,Moritake, oh, and Leonard Cohen. Match the writer with the haiku! By the way, I don't think it will serve any useful purpose to use "haiku corner " to present the writings of others:My sole purpose in this exercise is to get things going!

A fallen flower
returning to the branch ?
It was a butterfly.

The breeze sweeps fallen
cherry blossom into neat
drifts of pink on pink

Silence
and a deeper silence
when the crickets
hesitate.

A brushwood gate,
and for a lock-
this snail.

the whole sky and more
reflected in each raindrop
hanging from that branch.

I hope this posting will get forum members writing! Yours,
Andrew McGeever.
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lizzytysh
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Postby lizzytysh » Sat Jul 20, 2002 4:18 pm

Thank you, Andrew. I knew there was more to it than simply its form, and other than my having noticed that nature seemed to be a pretty common theme, I didn't know what else it might be. Interesting, the debate on the 17 and 12. Have you tried it both ways? Which feels better? I know the Haiku on the crickets was not written by you, as I've read it before. Now, the question remains where did I read it? In one of my Leonard Cohen poetry books or one of my Haiku ones? The gate and the butterfly sound like potentials for Cohen, as well. It'll be difficult to pinpoint one to the other authors, if we don't know them by their work. So guessing you and Leonard. Although the pink on pink with the cherry blossoms sounds possibly like Moritake, or possibly the butterfly by him....going by the topic matter. The raindrop also sounds possibly like Cohen. Oh, geesh! :? They're all delightful reading and images, at any rate. Good choices. Thanks.
~Lizzytysh
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Sandra
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Postby Sandra » Sat Jul 20, 2002 5:28 pm

You can offer a prize :) to the one who says the Cohen´s haiku :idea:
I am trying to guess......
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Kush
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Postby Kush » Sat Jul 20, 2002 5:56 pm

this is good stuff !! I especially liked nos. 1, 3, 4 5. didnt think 2 was all that special but maybe I'm missing something. Hope Cohen was not No.2.
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linmag
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Postby linmag » Sat Jul 20, 2002 6:10 pm

I know that Roshi suggested that Leonard write a poem about crickets - or was it the other way round.... :?
Linda

1972: Leeds, 2008: Manchester, Lyon, London O2, 2009: Wet Weybridge, 2012: Hop Farm/Wembley Arena
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lizzytysh
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Postby lizzytysh » Sat Jul 20, 2002 6:50 pm

Hi Linmag...

Since you already know that Roshi spoke to Leonard on it, this sounds like a good Leonard response to such a Roshi instruction. So it's sounding more likely that that's why I know I've already read it, whereas that wasn't the case with the others. Perhaps on Mount Baldy, Leonard was noticing [how can you help :) , when you're in one of their areas] the crickets at night. Perhaps he even complained [mildly, of course :) ] to Roshi about not being able to sleep, due to them. So, it would seem a rather Zen response to embrace them instead, with a Haiku. I know from experience that you do notice the silences, thinking perhaps they've ceased their song, yet find it was only a momentary ceasing. Maybe Leonard had already noticed and mentioned their intermittent silences...or maybe that came with the writing on the night he wrote.

On the others, I could give my take on why they might be Leonard's, but the crickets are what caught me immediately, and it's the one I can rationalize with no glitches. If it's not his, then it's back to the drawing board.

I wasn't that taken with the second one, either, until I truly imagined the visual of it and how massive amounts of pink petals might appear after the breeze blows them across the ground. Then, I was taken by it.

I agree with Kush that they're all "good stuff." I love Haiku.

~Lizzytysh
Adam
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Summer Haiku by Leonard Cohen

Postby Adam » Sun Jul 21, 2002 4:12 am

Summer-Haiku from "The Spice-Box of Earth"
For Frank and Marian Scott


Silence

and a deeper silence

when the crickets

hesitate
The above haiku was written by Leonard Cohen. It can be found at http://www.leonardcohenfiles.com/poem.html

Have I won a prize?
:-)
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lizzytysh
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Postby lizzytysh » Sun Jul 21, 2002 4:24 am

Great, Adam....You've at least gained [another form of won] the satisfaction of tracking it down for certain! The time frame for that sounds like it precedes Roshi's advisement that he write one...plus it says, "For Frank and Marian Scott"...so perhaps he's written another? I know he's known Roshi a long time, so maybe that long and this is the one he wrote per Roshi's suggestion? I wonder what actually did prompt it, and why it was "For" them?
~Lizzytysh
Andrew McGeever
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Haiku Corner.

Postby Andrew McGeever » Mon Jul 22, 2002 2:27 am

Adam, you got the easy one, and thanks for giving forum members the link. Four to go, and the worst is mine!
Here are two haiku I wrote some time ago:

Fractal fingers,
perfect blend
of bones,
blood and skin,
clasp,
relax again.



A minute's silence;
cigarretes are extinguished,
the sound of coughing.

Andrew.
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lizzytysh
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Postby lizzytysh » Mon Jul 22, 2002 2:48 am

Andrew,
Was the second one written just before or after you quit? The first one's a very strong visual, intensity as well as clarity.
~Lizzytysh
Everett Wade

Postby Everett Wade » Mon Jul 22, 2002 6:20 am

"A fallen flower
returning to the branch ?
It was a butterfly. "
Although I'm not a big fan of haiku's, (nothing against them, just not my fav) I liked this one a lot. =)
Ev
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lizzytysh
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Postby lizzytysh » Mon Jul 22, 2002 11:35 pm

Yes, what a lovely interpretation of a butterfly, eh? I agree, Ev....I liked it a lot, too.
~Lizzytysh
Andrew McGeever
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Haiku Corner.

Postby Andrew McGeever » Mon Jul 29, 2002 4:36 am

Answer time: the first was Mortake, the second mine, third, of course was Leonard Cohen,the fourth Basho and the fifth, Alan Spence.
I'm still enthusiastic about a group of forum members getting together to write a renga: nine should be sufficient. One starts with 3 lines, the next writer catches something from them for two lines, then back to 3-2-3-2 , forming a chain (36 links? ...I have participated in a published renga, and it's challenging yet good fun!
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lizzytysh
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Postby lizzytysh » Mon Jul 29, 2002 2:19 pm

That sounds fun, Andrew. So, how do we get them all into one space, or don't we....except to write it down at your desk to get the lines closer together visually? Or, I guess in our own Post, we could repeat the previous lines and then add ours....problematical only if two people are doing it currently, and then whose line gets to stay? So, why don't you start it, and we'll see how it goes?
~Lizzytysh
George Gordon
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Postby George Gordon » Mon Jul 29, 2002 10:14 pm

Interesting idea, the renga.

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