The Dying Heart

[Gullivor]

The Dying Heart

Part One

Winter storm
Sun withdrawn
Naked dead trees
Melancholy daring me
Perched on the icy breeze
Disconsolate memories of the past
Infinite

I’ve been speaking to Jesus
But I don’t think he is listening
My faith in him
I can’t be tempted
With any organized religion
I’ll just be still
Defeated by the treason

The old pine floors
I’ve been pacing
Comfort like a friend
Been studying
Dylan, Cohen and Rodriguez
They’ve been talking like
They know my God damn business
Cleverly they have spoken the
Ending into intermission

The sun takes a few peeks
Through the years
But always seems to retreat
A broken heart
Is my best suspicion
It might be the one
That ends all suffering

Part Two

Cold kiss goodbye
Froze the soul
Thus
Becoming a mortal blow
I’ve been speaking to Jesus
But he’s staying out of this one

Left town
Broken heart ignored
Put on hold in the background
Hidden in the adventure

Life slowed down
Caught a glimpse
Heart starring at my mind
Dying

But I was mad at him
For the pain and suffering
You deserve this I thought
Let it be a lesson for you
And all the trouble you bring

Your love
Your caring
Your hope
Your goodness
Your fucking forgiveness

Then what could very well be his last hour
My heart looked me in the eyes
One last time
As if he had accepted the fact I wasn’t going to help

It was a bitter cold night
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere
Hauntingly starring at me
With watery eyes
Months unshaven
50 pounds lighter
In his stupid fucking pajamas

Alright I said
I’ll let you back in
Apparently you can’t live without me
You need someone strong and stubborn like me to protect you
You’re not going to make it on your own
You are to good for this world

I apologized
We both cried
Dried our eyes
And wiped the snot
Off our faces
I think he’s forgiven me

The heart is incredibly good
A little pain in the ass sometimes
With all it’s hopefulness, goodness and other irritating defects that constantly inconvenience me
But it is fragile and needs my protection

I could live without him
But I don’t think he could live without me
And he kinda likes it here
So
I guess I’ll let him stay

I’ve been speaking to Jesus
I think he’s just sitting in and listening

~Gully~
? December 2019