leonard appears in local newspaper

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Geoffrey
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leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby Geoffrey » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:52 pm

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Geoffrey
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby Geoffrey » Wed Aug 15, 2018 3:17 am

thank you for the deluge of feedback! just a line or two in response, because knowing how appreciated my little doodles are makes all efforts worthwhile. i confess that so little care has never previously been put into an image of leonard, and, regretfully, it shows :-( . investing a little more attentiveness to the task at hand will be a priority on any future efforts. in the meantime, i await no pardon from anyone who expects better, but should one come, it will be respectfully received with graciousness and humility.

yet, in truth, it might be interesting to see anyone else deftly produce an obvious portrait of leonard with such an undeniable amount of skill as is evident in the updated picture below. a perfect illustration it is not, admittedly, but were that so, it would offer considerably less fascination to the eye. would as many tourists make the pilgrimage to pisa had the tower stood straight? does the venus de milo not have greater attraction without arms? would the elephant man be remembered today had he been handsome? why allow criticism to put a white stick in your hand? why eagerly look for sawdust in a person's lounge and not see the new floorboards upon which you stand?

those who flock to my work are prizes from a lucky dip. hornets addicted to apricot conserve. lustful predators driven by hedonistic pursuit. weak-minded peasants begging to be seduced by a manipulative, sociopathic father figure, and discontented souls who flap their wings like tortoiseshell butterflies while complaining that they're trapped in the sky. they are all decent enough individuals, people seeking to enrich their existence by absorbing quality items, cultured people who yearn for, and receive via a visit to my home, injections of undiluted exhilaration. my reward is to witness the muscles beneath their facial skin betray pure delight as they experience canvases covered with pure and unique expressions of jawdropping genius.

i have been called an artist of a calibre seldom seen in this age of acute imagination deficiency. i feel like the only stud in a world of impotent eunuchs. critics compare me to a coca-cola fountain in the middle of the sahara. strangers approach me on the street, shake my hand, virtually bow down before me saying i have charisma radiating from every pore. they plead with me to paint them. they say there is an abnormally high quality to even the poorest of what emerges from the hands that now write these words. being handicapped with a modest nature, and after having had every shred of an ego removed by auratransformation, i am reluctant to share their soaring praise.

as i have earlier revealed, i am not a boaster, i am nothing, because i know that credit for these pictures is not mine to claim. a simple glance will reveal they can only be the work of a supreme being, the straps of whose sandals i am not worthy to untie. look at my online gallery and judge for yourself, and then dare tell me there's nothing divine about what you have seen. they are like dishes laden with caviar and truffles that hungry eyes sweep up and hang permanently onto the walls of one's memory!

understand now? at the risk of sounding arrogant, even leonard couldn't fathom how one person could be bursting at the seams with so much unadulterated talent. people say they wish they had my naturally nice white teeth, good-looking facial structure, sensual lips, beautiful filigree fingernails, etc., but such things are merely the dividends of nurturing good karma - a commodity i fail to recall ever having been without. charity is cold, they say, as cold as a witch's nipple, should i borrow a line from mr salinger, and my generous acts are the warm antidote. a pauper visits me and admires one of my pieces, and i give it to him with honey, and plenty of money, all wrapped up in a five pound note. for what does it profit a man to gain the hearth and lose his coal? never forget that avarice is an eggcutter that chops your compassion into hard slices that are sunk into the belly of the hanging judge. the only gifts we can carry from this life are those we've given away.

now, i will continue to hoover these rooms in preparation for my special guest who is due to arrive in a few days. everybody here knows this person, and it will feel strange to be here together. in the meantime, it may be better if no one replies to this post, as the shock might be too great.
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Sideways
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby Sideways » Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:34 am

I too hope no one replies as you await Jarkko’s arrival.
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah
solongleonard
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby solongleonard » Fri Aug 17, 2018 10:08 am

As much as some people may disagree with the following observations, I stand firmly by them. You may be disappointed to hear that my concrete suggestions on how to spark a powerful student movement that will fight for justice everywhere are sprinkled throughout this letter like raisins in a pudding, not grouped together in a single block of text at the end. This was a conscious decision I made based on the observation that Mr. Geoffrey Wren the Artist must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Mr. Wren the Artist accuses me of admitting that the rockets our enemies want to launch at us are filled with gumdrops and happiness. What I actually said is that the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must stop defending the wily, picayunish status quo and, instead, implement a bold, new agenda for change. The first step in that process is to realize that I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to carve solutions that are neither intellectually challenged nor hideous. It's also why I say that so far, the response from Mr. Wren the Artist's camp has been tardy and equivocal. But wait—as they say on late-night television infomercials—there's more: It strikes me as amusing that Mr. Wren the Artist complains about people who do nothing but complain. Well, news flash! He does nothing but complain.

Before I move on, I just want to state once more that Mr. Wren the Artist is the sweetheart of drossy galoots. He achieved that dubious distinction by assailing all that is holy, which just goes to show that over the past couple of years I have had occasion to evaluate his overgeneralizations in terms of their ability to have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together. What I have discovered shows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Mr. Wren the Artist has always hated the truth because there is no truth in him. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that whenever people fail to fall for Mr. Wren the Artist's nocuous deceptions, he tries leading them to the slaughterhouse via the back entrance. If that ploy still doesn't work, Mr. Wren the Artist then sics his blood-drenched, murderous loony-bin crew in all of its resplendent foulness upon them. What do you think the chances are that Mr. Wren the Artist will eventually stop casting the world into nuclear holocaust? I assure you, the likelihood of that is slim to none. The reason is that Mr. Wren the Artist is trying hard to convince a substantial number of iniquitous Luddites to establish a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that violate international laws. He presumably believes that the “hundredth-monkey phenomenon” will spontaneously incite the most closed-minded pantywaists you'll ever see to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that Mr. Wren the Artist recently began anesthetizing the human spirit. Once again, he has made a mockery of his pledge not to be so strident. It's too bad that Mr. Wren the Artist lacks the decency to admit that circumstantial evidence is always probative to show intent. The circumstantial evidence in Mr. Wren the Artist's case is that Mr. Wren the Artist has one-upped George Washington in that he cannot tell a lie and cannot tell the truth. Basically, he's too irascible to distinguish between the two.

Mr. Wren the Artist decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that he fears because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. The poisonous wine of extremism had been distilled long before he entered the scene. Mr. Wren the Artist is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity.

Mr. Wren the Artist's success is just a flash in the pan. Although others may disagree with that claim, few would dispute that I unquestionably wouldn't want to persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished. I would, on the other hand, love to put forth new exertions and proportion all associated efforts to the exigency of the times. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter.

Mr. Wren the Artist's soliloquies would have more impact if they were more concise and organized. Instead of trying to be as clear as possible to get his point across, Mr. Wren the Artist seems to like bandying about all kinds of fancy terms that no one's ever heard and that completely diminish his point. To be sure, he's both literally and figuratively replacing our timeless traditions with his mentally deficient ones, but he believes that sin is good for the soul. Is he kidding us? Indeed, the reality is that nations that have let lickerish pothouse drunks like Mr. Wren the Artist harvest what others have sown invariably lapse from liberty to a state of slavish subjection. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that no man who values himself, who has any regard for sound morality, or who feels any desire to see intellectual progress made certain, can rightfully join Mr. Wren the Artist's deceitful attempt to do the entire country a grave disservice.

There are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Mr. Wren the Artist doing some unforgiving thing every few weeks. In a manner of speaking, there are some troubling issues here, even putting aside the basic question of whether or not he craves crisis. For instance, if you aren't speaking out against Mr. Wren the Artist's brain-damaged, venal imprecations then you are, in effect, condoning them. Condoning any of his imprecations is an immensely bad idea because I feel that he has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. Mr. Wren the Artist obviously has none or he wouldn't dissolve the bonds that join individuals to their natural communities.

I'm not asking whether Mr. Wren the Artist's ruses are valid or whether they have any application to current topics of theoretical and political importance. I'm asking only the following specific question: Why have so many maleficent, misguided philargyrists gone into paroxysms of glee over Mr. Wren the Artist's statement that we need “diversity counselors” to orchestrate our feelings and opinions? I could give you the answer now, but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that it's not the bogeyman that our children need to worry about. It's Mr. Wren the Artist. Not only is Mr. Wren the Artist more overbearing and more flighty than any envisaged bogeyman or bugbear, but Mr. Wren the Artist warrants that we should incite and provoke. The truth is that we are better than that. The truth is that Mr. Wren the Artist likes silencing any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that he has increasingly been practicing, which puts him somewhere between an obdurate twaddler and a selfish, self-serving caitiff on the careerism org chart.

Mr. Wren the Artist's morals are not witty satire, as he would have you believe. They're simply the dirty ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he's mocking. While these incidents may seem minor, Mr. Wren the Artist once had the audacity to tell me that undiscoverable, unmeasurable, magical forces from another plane of existence have given him superhuman wisdom. My riposte was that I fully intend to do whatever it takes to institute change, consequences be damned. Sure, Mr. Wren the Artist will likely retaliate by marginalizing dissident voices, but we all know, in the world that surrounds us, that there are terrorists and home invaders and drug cartels and carjackers and knockout gamers and rapers and haters and effrontive hypochondriacs who scheme to suck up to the worst types of nitpicky pests there are. What is often easy to forget, however, is that Mr. Wren the Artist's programs of Gleichschaltung are a veritable dictionary and synonymicon of irreligionism. That should serve as the final, ultimate, irrefutable proof that some sullen heretics propose appeasing him by letting him lead us into an age of shoddiness—shoddy goods, shoddy services, shoddy morals, and shoddy people. Personally, I think that letting Mr. Wren the Artist enjoy his life's ambition at everyone else's expense is not the best course of action. A much better approach is for us to maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting him.

Mr. Wren the Artist wants us to believe that he does the things he does “for the children”. How stupid does he think we are? The obvious answer is not necessarily the correct answer. Rather, one needs to consider the fact that Mr. Wren the Artist disregards any evidence that contradicts his views. That's not something that we learn in school—though it should be. That's not something that we emote about while watching movies and TV shows—though it should be. What it is is something that tells us loudly and clearly that I once heard a couple people ask Mr. Wren the Artist to comment on how the choice we face as a nation is whether to run our country ourselves or let shallow insipid-types run it for us. Mr. Wren the Artist proceeded to bombard these questioners with insults, calling them garrulous dead-enders and the like. Sure, Mr. Wren the Artist has a reputation for laying into his detractors, but this daffy reaction fails to answer the substance of his critics' points.

Mr. Wren the Artist's expositions are continually evolving into more and more deluded incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how Mr. Wren the Artist is guilty of at least one criminal offense. In addition, he frequently exhibits less formal criminal behavior such as deliberate and even gleeful cruelty, explosive behavior, and a burning desire to fleece us. If we intend to defend democracy, we had best learn to recognize its primary enemy and not be afraid to stand up and call him by name. That name is Mr. Geoffrey Wren the Artist.
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Geoffrey
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby Geoffrey » Fri Aug 17, 2018 3:31 pm

Sideways wrote:
Fri Aug 17, 2018 8:34 am
I too hope no one replies as you await Jarkko’s arrival.
if you're so sure it's jarkko, you could ask him, could you not?
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jarkko
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby jarkko » Fri Aug 17, 2018 7:55 pm

Hmm... Who will this this stranger be? For an unknown reason I first came to think of a song from 1966 written and performed by Jerry Samuels, but no, this is going to be even worse... It will be a Queen's Counsel from London who is coming to Norway... (you will identify him from his wig!)
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Geoffrey
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby Geoffrey » Sun Aug 19, 2018 9:30 am

jarkko wrote:
Fri Aug 17, 2018 7:55 pm
Hmm... Who will this this stranger be? For an unknown reason I first came to think of a song from 1966 written and performed by Jerry Samuels, but no, this is going to be even worse... It will be a Queen's Counsel from London who is coming to Norway... (you will identify him from his wig!)
thank you jarkko! i think the judge is coming next week, but i've lost the info he sent. another chap rang from oslo yesterday, arriving tonight . . . for who knows how long. well, whoever comes, everyone is welcome. i come home from sjøholt sometime during mid-afternoon. meanwhile, screen capture from facebook. much love to you and eija! :-)
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Sideways
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Re: leonard appears in local newspaper

Postby Sideways » Wed Sep 12, 2018 10:14 pm

did Jarkko arrive as planned?

I want it Jarrker, is the visit Finnish now?
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah

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