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Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 1:57 pm
Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 2:46 pm
bade - old past tense of "bid", pronounced "bad"
baldric - a shoulder-belt for carrying horns, swords, etc
bannock - flat bread-cake
barrel - the long, cylindrical part of a key
baseborn - ignoble, illegitimate
bason - formerly a common spelling of basin
bay - (of a dog) bark or howl
bebother - bring trouble upon
befall - happen, occur
belie - give a false impression
benighted - in, or overtaken by, darkness
bent - open place covered with grass
beset - attacked, assaulted by enemies
besom - a stiff broom made out of sticks and twigs
besotted - made drunk
besotted2 - obsessed, entranced
besought - old past tense of beseech
bier - platform for carrying a coffin or body
billow - (large) wave
bivouac - temporary camp, without tents
blazoned - painted or inscribed (an heraldic term)
bond - storage of wine, etc, until duty has been paid; out of bond released from this
booby - stupid person
boon - favour, gift
brakes - thickets
brazen - made of brass
brood - children
brood2 - related creatures
brook - tolerate, accept
buckler - a small round shield, held in one hand
bulwark - a defensive structure
burg - walled and fortified town
burgeon - come forth, bud, begin to grow quickly
burnished - polished
Something which justifies having a really good cry.
The sharp prong on the top of a tree stump where the tree has snapped
off before being completely sawn through.
One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.
Pertaining to, or descriptive of, that kind of facial expression which
is impossible to achieve except when having a passport photograph taken.
A lusty and reucous old ballad sung after a particulary spectacular
araglin (q.v.) has been pulled off.
A homorous device such as a china horse or smalled naked porcelain
infant which jocular hosts use of piss water into your Scotch with.
That kind of large fierce ugly woman who owns a small fierce ugly dog.
A fitted eleasticated bottom sheet which turns your mattress
The unsavoury parts of a moat which a knight has to pour out of his
armour after being the victim of an araglin (q.v.). In medieval Flanders,
soup made from bealins was a very sligthly sought-after delicacy.
The optimum vantage point from which one to view people undressing in
the bedroom across the street.
The small bone buttons placed in bacon sandwiches by unemploymed
A lurching sensation in the pit of the stomach experienced at breakfast
in a hotel, occasioned by the realisation that it is about now that the
chamber- maid will have discovered the embarrassing stain on your botton
A knob of someone else's chewing gum which you unexpectedly find your
hand resting on under a deks top, under the passenger seat of your car or on
somebody's thigh under their skirt.
The sort of man who becomes a returning officer.
The irrevocable and sturdy fart released in the presence of royalty,
which sounds quite like a small motorbike passing by (but not enough to be
confused with one).
The massive three-course midmorning blow-out enjoyed by a dieter who
has already done his or her slimming duty by having a teaspoonful of cottage
cheese for breakfast.
1. The shape of a gourmet's lips.
2. The droplet of saliva which hangs from them.
A pimple so hideous and enormous that you have to cover it with
sticking plaster and pretend you've cut yourself
An opening gambit before a game of chess whereby the missing pieces are
replaced by small ornaments from the mantelpiece.
Scientific measure of luminosity :
1 glimmer = 100,000 bleans.
Usherettes' torches are designed to produce between 2.5 and 4 bleans,
enabling them to assist you in falling downstairs, treading on people or
putting your hand into a Neapolitan tub when reaching for change.
A look someone gives you by which you become aware that they're much
too drunk to have undertood anything you've said to them in the last twenty
The little slivers of bomboo picked off a cane chair by a nervous guest
which litter the carpet beneath and tell the chair's owner that the whole
piece of furniture is about to uncoil terribly and slowly until it resembles
a giant pencil sharpening.
The irrational and inevitable discrepancy between the amount pooled and
the amount needed when a large group of people try to pay a bill together
after a meal.
One of those brown plastic trays with bumps on, placed upside down in
boxes of chocolates to make you think you're-getting two layers.
Of plumbing in old hotels, to make loud and unexplained noises in the
nigth, particulary at about five o'clock in the morning.
The small scatterings of foreign coins and half-p's which inhabit
dressing tables. Since they are never used and never thrown away boolteens
account for a significant drain on the world's money supply.
1. The man in the pub who slaps people on the back as if
they were old friends, when in fact he has no friends,
largely on account of this habit.
2. Any story told by Robert Morley on chat shows.
A huge pyramid of tin cans placed just inside the entrance to a
One who spends all day loafing about near pedestrian crossing looking
as if he's about to cross.
The princible by which British roads are signposted.
The prominent stain on a man's trouser crotch seen on his return from
the lavatory. A botley proper is caused by an accident with the push taps,
and should not be confused with any stain caused by insufficient waggling of
Huge benign tumours which archdeacons and old chemisty teachers affect
to wear on the sides of their noses.
A small, long-handled steel trowel used by surgeons to remove the
contents of a patient's nostrils prior to a sinus operation.
A school teacher's old hairy jacket, now severely discoloured by chalk
dust, ink, egg and the precipitations of uneditying chemical reactions.
One who is skilled in the art of naming loaves.
That part of the toenail which is designed to snag on nylon sheets.
A perfectly resonable explanation (Such as the one offered by a person
with a gurgling cough which has nothing to do with the fact that they smoke
fifty cigarettes a day.)
A pair of trousers with a career behind them. Broats are most commonly
seen on elderly retired army officers. Orginally the brats were part of
their best suit back in the thirties; then in the fifties they were demonted
and used for gardening. Recently pensions not being what they were, the
broats have been called out of retirement and reinstated as part of the best
A bromton is that which is said to have been committed when you are
convinced you are about to blow off with a resounding trumpeting noise in a
public place and all that acually slips out is a tiny 'pfpt'.
Any urban environment containing a small amount of dogturd and about
forty-five tons of bent steel pylon or a lump of concrete with holes
claiming to be scuplture.
'Oh, come my dear, and come with
And wander 'neath the bromsgrove
tree' - Betjeman.
One who has been working at that same desk in the same office for
fifteen years and has very much his own ideas about why he is continually
passed over for promotion.
The fake antique plastic seal on a pretentious whisky bottle.
The single unappetising bun left in a baker's shop after four p.m.
A nipple clearly defined thorugh flimsy or wet matereal.
A polite joke reserved for use in the presence of vicars.
a virulent red-coloured pus which genereally accompanies clonmult
(q.v.) and sandberge (q.v.)
The sound made by a liftful of people all tring to breathe politely
through their noses.
The scabs on knees and elbows formed by a compulsion to make love on
cheap Habitat floor-matting.
That peculary tuneless humming and whistling adopted by people who are
A seventeenth-century crime by which excrement is thrown into the
street from a ground-floor window.
Condition to which yates (q.v.) will suddenly pass without any apparent
interviewing period, after the spirit of the throckmorton (q.v.) has finally
been summoned by incressant throcking (q.v.)
The bluebottle one is too tired to get up and start, but not tired
enough to sleep thorugh.
A bunch of keys found in a drawer whose purpose has long been
forgotten, and which can therefore now be used only for dropping down
people's backs as a cure for nose-bleeds.
The pleasureable cool sloosh of puddle water over the toes of your