At The Concert

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
Johnny Goldsmith
Posts: 35
Joined: Thu Mar 26, 2015 6:11 pm

At The Concert

Post by Johnny Goldsmith » Wed Apr 29, 2015 4:40 pm

Deleted
Joined Mar 26, 2015
Last edited by Johnny Goldsmith on Mon Jun 01, 2015 2:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Cheshire gal
Posts: 807
Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2010 7:54 am
Location: Al. USA

Re: At The Concert

Post by Cheshire gal » Thu Apr 30, 2015 12:24 am

A very well composed poem Johnny, but I find it a little disturbing.
'...and here's a man still working for your little smile' -Leonard Cohen
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Sideways
Posts: 840
Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:40 pm

Take away his crayons

Post by Sideways » Wed May 06, 2015 8:59 am

"Slight of hand". It's a common decency to your reader to check your spelling. People died for the Right to Spellcheck. Sorry if it would be a "sleight" inconvenience for you. Blunders like that- "Once upon a time this would have been unheard off". Oh, fuck "of", you have done it again. Can you really copyright a total absence of talent or does your c in a circle mean something else, like a cretin performing center stage?

This is a really poorly composed not-a-poem and it is truly disturbing that it exists. You published a line "an aura of something special". You didn't drown it, strangle it, or publicly beat and humiliate it. You decided to publish it. The brilliant alliteration of "something special". Here's a phrase that could catch on and become a cliche that will last 1,000 years or even a millennium. It is so powerfully descriptive, displaying such insight. Your very approach of searching for originality! Let me give it a go, Master

Your not-a-poem has an aura of something shit.

Trolls R Us. You are either forum or againstum.

I'm againstum. Goodbye forum, goodbye Johnny, goodbye for ever.
yeah, well, errrrm, hum, yeah, ok, I dunno, articulation is not my fing, who cares, SHUT IT YOU MUPPET, blah blah blah
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”