I'll suppose go first I suppose..
CYBERSPACE JOURNAL
POETRY COP ATTACKED
ASSAILANTS FLEE SCENE
Officer PC, while working undercover, was suddenly and violently attacked Sunday by three assailants. The officer was engaged in a 'sting' operation designed to expose the ignorance of the criminal element of the population.
Poetry Cop, speaking from the hospital, stated; "I was accosted by the juvenile deliquent, Everett Wade, who began to berate me for taking my job 'seriously'. Wade became increasingly agitated and incoherent, saying, he had never heard of any 18th century satirists. Which is odd since Judge Swift had just sentenced him to 30 days in jail."
"Wade then attacked me with his little fists," marvelled Officer PC. "As I was fending him off, two of his gang ran in and began to pistolwhip me. I recognized one of the assailants immediately as the notorious Lizzytysh, currently out on bail and awaiting trial for hijacking."
"She accused me of hiding behind my badge and committing the 'pinnacle of literary crime'." Poetry Cop shook his head sadly, "It seems she doesn't realize educated folks have no need for every literary allusion to be footnoted."
The third member of the gang, KUSH, has never been known to associate with criminals. Officer PC admitted he was surprised by her vitriolic speech. "KUSH jeered that she was not in awe of Judge Swift, sarcastically saying; 'So What'. Then she landed a left uppercut."
"The last thing I remember before being kicked unconscious," recalled Poetry Cop, "was Lizzytysh shouting; 'Harshness runs into brick walls'."
Asked if he would continue his work as an officer of the law, Poetry Cop replied with a firm "Yes". With a glint in his eye Officer PC said, "My head is bloody but unbowed." He added, "I have sworn to defend the Commonwealth against all enemies, both foreign and domestic."
"And besides, he added drily, it amuses me."
POETRY COP ATTACKED
ASSAILANTS FLEE SCENE
Officer PC, while working undercover, was suddenly and violently attacked Sunday by three assailants. The officer was engaged in a 'sting' operation designed to expose the ignorance of the criminal element of the population.
Poetry Cop, speaking from the hospital, stated; "I was accosted by the juvenile deliquent, Everett Wade, who began to berate me for taking my job 'seriously'. Wade became increasingly agitated and incoherent, saying, he had never heard of any 18th century satirists. Which is odd since Judge Swift had just sentenced him to 30 days in jail."
"Wade then attacked me with his little fists," marvelled Officer PC. "As I was fending him off, two of his gang ran in and began to pistolwhip me. I recognized one of the assailants immediately as the notorious Lizzytysh, currently out on bail and awaiting trial for hijacking."
"She accused me of hiding behind my badge and committing the 'pinnacle of literary crime'." Poetry Cop shook his head sadly, "It seems she doesn't realize educated folks have no need for every literary allusion to be footnoted."
The third member of the gang, KUSH, has never been known to associate with criminals. Officer PC admitted he was surprised by her vitriolic speech. "KUSH jeered that she was not in awe of Judge Swift, sarcastically saying; 'So What'. Then she landed a left uppercut."
"The last thing I remember before being kicked unconscious," recalled Poetry Cop, "was Lizzytysh shouting; 'Harshness runs into brick walls'."
Asked if he would continue his work as an officer of the law, Poetry Cop replied with a firm "Yes". With a glint in his eye Officer PC said, "My head is bloody but unbowed." He added, "I have sworn to defend the Commonwealth against all enemies, both foreign and domestic."
"And besides, he added drily, it amuses me."
Yes, I agree on their amusing quality, as well as their overall consistency of perspective. May Judge Jonathon Swift [oh, it wasn't him?] include in his sentencing against your perpetrators restitution for replacement of your dictionary, previously always used for spelling, i.e. to wit "drily" vs. dryly. It's tough being a P.C., isn't it?
~Lizzytysh
Always amazes me how some consider themselves above even the commonest of courtesy laws.....despite all the "yes, ma'am[s], no ma'am[s]; yes sir[s], no sir[s]" upon approach ~ soon into the interaction, the pushes seem to quickly give ways to the shoves. Perhaps restricting oneself to the realms of the educated would alleviate any and all plagiaristic concerns. What special privilege[s] do the educated have in the areas of copyright?
~Lizzytysh
Always amazes me how some consider themselves above even the commonest of courtesy laws.....despite all the "yes, ma'am[s], no ma'am[s]; yes sir[s], no sir[s]" upon approach ~ soon into the interaction, the pushes seem to quickly give ways to the shoves. Perhaps restricting oneself to the realms of the educated would alleviate any and all plagiaristic concerns. What special privilege[s] do the educated have in the areas of copyright?
-
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 10:04 pm
I'll suppose go first I suppose
What is going on here?
I, Mr. Simile N. Metaphor, Minister of Literature, did not authorize any officers to conduct an investigation of miscreant poets. If someone has a complaint, this office acts as an ombudsman, and will issue fines to persons who engage in the highly prohibited act of unlawful, and poorly written poetry.
I am appalled at the audacity of an officer to take justice into his own hands, especially when he only has an eighth grade education.
He will be severely reprimanded and will face criminal charges, as well.
Regards,
Simile N. Metaphor, D. Litt.,
Minister of Literature
I, Mr. Simile N. Metaphor, Minister of Literature, did not authorize any officers to conduct an investigation of miscreant poets. If someone has a complaint, this office acts as an ombudsman, and will issue fines to persons who engage in the highly prohibited act of unlawful, and poorly written poetry.
I am appalled at the audacity of an officer to take justice into his own hands, especially when he only has an eighth grade education.
He will be severely reprimanded and will face criminal charges, as well.
Regards,
Simile N. Metaphor, D. Litt.,
Minister of Literature