when this surreal convention hits town
and they hang the delegates upside down
to adress an audience that left yesterday
then and only then will I whisper my truth
the minute after the town is evacuated
I will shout it from the roof
exposing myself to no-one
and boldly confronting nothing
would you like to hear my truth
dust and ashes
that's my proof
Su rreal it hurts
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- Posts: 9
- Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2004 8:55 pm
Su rreal it hurts
Last edited by 2Strictly_Confidential on Sat Feb 21, 2004 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Nothing
Dear SC
What a wonderfully visual and descriptive opening line it conjures up so many options and possibilities, but not a bit of nothing.
I like the poem.
Cheers
Ben
What a wonderfully visual and descriptive opening line it conjures up so many options and possibilities, but not a bit of nothing.
I like the poem.
Cheers
Ben
Life rewards action, just as well done is better than well said. Yours the Galactic Pixie
Yes, it grabs you from the start.
Nit. I'd like to see whisper & shout given more emphasis
but no idea how
Nit. Don't much like the direct address to the reader
Would you like to hear my truth
Very futuristic.
Babz
Nit. I'd like to see whisper & shout given more emphasis
but no idea how
Nit. Don't much like the direct address to the reader
Would you like to hear my truth
Very futuristic.
Babz
One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation, and compassion.
~Simone de Beauvoir
~Simone de Beauvoir