Busy Day.

This is for your own works!!!
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Andrew McGeever
Posts: 905
Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2002 10:02 pm

Busy Day.

Post by Andrew McGeever »

It's about time someone offered a sonnet on this section of the message board, but for those seeking "the meaning of life", you won't find it in this poem: it's just a gentle sonnet, one of the most affectionate I've written to date. Critical comments, please.
P.S. I don't divide my sonnets into line-separated stanzas (i.e. 3 quatrains and a rhyming couplet). I've always written them as a single body, with double spacing... it makes for easier reading...I hope!

Busy Day.

The morning's busy, Ciaran: workmen start

by drilling holes to lay long cable snakes

interred with dumper heaps of asphalt, tar

that sticks to soles. Look, see the mess it makes.

The daytime's busy, Ciaran: afternoon

is squeezing sand through toes on Porty beach

as Daddy clutches shoes and Celtic tunes

are closely hummed. Don't wander out of reach.

The evening's busy, Ciaran: people dash

back home, gulp food, eyes glued to videos

while you craft bathtub plots; a bubbly splash

from floor to ceiling, soaking Daddy's clothes.

Our day's been busy, Ciaran, like I said;

and now's the time to put your world to bed.


P.P.S. This sonnet is displayed in 2 nursery schools in Edinburgh, and in Ciaran's bedroom too.....every poem finds it's home.
Natalie
Posts: 223
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2002 8:09 am

Busy Day.

Post by Natalie »

Your sonnet is excellent.

Sonnets are very difficult to write in English. They seem to be a dying form of poetry, these days, but it is so nice to see you resurrect it with quality lyricism.

I will comment further to you, personally.

Take care,
Natalie

:wink:
Andrew McGeever
Posts: 905
Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2002 10:02 pm

Busy Day.

Post by Andrew McGeever »

Thanks for the encouraging reply, Natalie, though I don't think sonnets are a "dying form of poetry, these days".
There has been a discernable trend in recent years towards more formal structures in poetry: sonnet, villanelle, sapphic, cinquain....and haiku.
In all cases, the rules are broken, but you have to know the rules in order to break them.
I hope my sonnet, "Busy Day", can encourage other forum members to offer their own........"sonnet corner", maybe? :?: .
Yours, Andrew.
Andrew McGeever
Posts: 905
Joined: Sun Jul 07, 2002 10:02 pm

Busy Day.

Post by Andrew McGeever »

Is there anyone out there in cyberspace who can offer a sonnet?
English or Italian,the rules are simple. Learn them, break them.
The sonnet form remains one of the most important constructs of verse in the English language.
It's getting late.....that's an iambic di-meter.
Andrew.
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