three

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
User avatar
woody
Posts: 100
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:44 pm

three

Post by woody » Fri Apr 17, 2009 2:04 am

The Cause Of Snow

The night they promised snow
I sat listening quietly
to the radio falling
in and out of the dark

The words filled with alarm,
“Arctic winds and black ice,
And falling temperatures
Will find the morning lost
In snow and snow and snow.”
The voice lost in static,
As though muffled by winds,
Of something cold and vengeful,

The breath of angry gods.
The world seized on it's axis,
And subsumed in silence
As news turned sinister;

Roads would become lethal
All businesses would close
The people would become
Prisoners of their homes.

I simmered silently
On the world unusable,
We all at times find warmth
In thoughts of destruction.

That night the snow fell for
Six hours and I blinked
As the news came in of
Cars crashing in the night.


Celluloid

For far too long I misread tragedy.
King Kong was a story of high romance,
Where in I overlooked the falling planes
For a tale of abusrd love and adventure.

Only life can teach us how things explode;
That men drop dead in the middle of the
Story, that some have no story at all.
The fabled arc has put a squeeze on truth

I grew confused, sat too long in the dark,
I laughed during the death scene, wept at jokes.
Maybe Casabalnca was not so sad
And my life is not such a tragedy
More an endless comedy of errors.


Bad Times

God knows it has never been worse
Now everyone has reason to suffer

The stars can't believe what they see,
A billion dreamers unable to wake

The strong begin to look weary,
The people on the bus look like killers

There keen for somebody to blame,
They've left their seats they embrace the chaos.

We used to act out tragedy
Now the knives are out for fakes just as us.
Last edited by woody on Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
imaginary friend
Posts: 1371
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:09 am
Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: three

Post by imaginary friend » Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:27 am

Hello Woody

What happened to Spring???

I'm not usually a fan of grouping poems, but these three work very well together. My favourite of the three is Celluloid. I like The Cause of Snow, except for the last stanza which it doesn't seem to need, IMO.

Please reassure me that the three were not written recently, and that your world is warming up. Otherwise, we may all have to get naked again...
neanderthalman
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:24 am

Re: three

Post by neanderthalman » Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:39 am

The imagery was excellently presented in "The Cause of Snow" - the only thing I found distracting was the rythm. It was an easy read and truly exhibited the feelings winter brings out...

I enjoyed the clever play of words Celluid presented, well done!

The last poem didn't grab me, but I could see the message - very good imagery, enough to convey the emotions. :D
User avatar
piñata heart
Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:04 pm
Location: new york city
Contact:

Re: three

Post by piñata heart » Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:57 pm

Hi Woody,

I enjoyed these as well. I especially liked your use of "static" in the first piece. It's kind of a wintry symbol in its own right and it works well here. Good stuff.

-ph
Cate
Posts: 3464
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:27 am

Re: three

Post by Cate » Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:00 am

imaginary friend wrote:. Otherwise, we may all have to get naked again...
No more getting naked for me, no way, no thank you. :lol:

My favourite was Celluloid.
You're first stanza made me smile with that classic image of king kong climbing the tower. I wanted to argue with your N that it was indeed a fantastic love story just like the classic Creature from the Black Lagoon (now there's a love story).
and then you snap me back with S2 L2 - That men drop dead in the middle of the Story. ouch, Great line, I think most of us will have at least one real life example that we will think of when we read that.
User avatar
woody
Posts: 100
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:44 pm

Re: three

Post by woody » Sat Apr 18, 2009 12:43 am

hey all,
thanks for the kind comments. it's nice to be naked again. especially now the weather is warming up.
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”