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Alternative concert reports

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:41 am
by scocoh
Have a funny story about the tour? A rant? Something which doesn't fit in a concert report? Feel free to use this space.

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With apologies to Mr. Cohen, these mangled lyrics are in honor of a particular big mouth drunk in San Jose-- the self-professed Leonard expert who got drunk, talked all night ("That's Bob Metzger on guitar, and he [blah blah blah]")-- and did a running commentary of the songs. Dedicated also to Wendy's horrific neighbors in Vancouver.

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It’s a shame and it’s a pity
The way you treat us now
I know you can’t stop talking
But stop talking anyhow

The last songs got so ugly
I even heard you say
You don't have to be quiet
But be quiet anyway

Dreamed about you baby
You were spilling half your beer
I know you have to get drunk
But do you have to get drunk here?

I used up all my shushes
And I hate to give you flack
But there ain’t no harm in asking
Could you sit just one more row back?

I’m mad your mouth is filthy
And there’s sweat upon my brow
And one of us is guilty
Anyhow

Have mercy on us baby
On all us true Leonard fans
Next time he comes to this town
Could you make some other plans?

It’s a shame and it’s a pity
You've turned my mindset grim
By now it's so apparent
You never ever loved him

Just what are you achieving?
Anyhow
I wish it was more than Alexandra leaving
Anyhow
I’m mad your mouth is filthy
Anyhow
And one of us is guilty
Anyhow

Have mercy!

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 4:52 am
by IMM
Love it! :mrgreen:

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:38 pm
by holydove
:lol: Good job, Scocoh!

You have inspired me to share this: at one of the Dublin concerts, there were a few women behind us who talked ceaselessly throughout the concert; but the most bizarre part is, one of them not only had her cell phone on, but it rang, she answered it - & proceeded to have a conversation with the caller!! :shock:

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2012 11:04 pm
by MaryB
Thank you Scott for my laugh of the day!

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 4:11 am
by mnkyface
Brilliant Scott! :lol: :lol: I especially loved: "I wish it was more than Alexandra leaving"

I don't have too many audience stories, but at this last San Jose show, a guy behind me was reading through his program and he said these words: "oh, he's Canadian?" :lol: I found it so funny and annoying - but I guess I shouldn't really be surprised- a lot of people are at these shows just to finally "check out" what the big deal about Leonard Cohen is, or they've been brought on a date, etc.

In general, I find that unless I'm seated amongst forum members, I'm usually stuck next to total duds. Why me??? They just stare and clap politely. One lady cried a lot - and I mean she was a total weeping mess for a large portion of the show - so that was something at least. :razz: Some kind of passion. But usually...duds. I'll never forget the first Oakland show in 2009 when I put my blouse on stage- I was roundly SCOLDED by a guy in the row in front of me, as if I'd done the most unimaginable faux-pas, disrupting his catatonic viewing of Leonard. Then when Leonard picked up the blouse, he was suddenly my high-five-ing best friend! (the guy, not Leonard - haha)

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:04 am
by BEATRIZ SALLES
Ohhh Scott, thank you for this!! :lol: :lol:

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 4:08 am
by ladydi
In Seattle I was back in row 11, as I didn't get my ticket on the presale. Good seat actually, but no friends around me :(

Couple to my left...husband is placating wife. Actually happy for his wife! Wife is ecstatic! She just discovered Leonard about 2 months ago. She is SO happy, and I remember my first concert in Copenhagen almost 8 months after I "discovered" Leonard Cohen. She is bubbly and chatty and delightful.

Couple to my right. 60ish (lol...nothin' wrong with that, just an observation). Cold. There's no interaction between them. Absolute quiet for over 20 minutes. Conservative clothes. Husband...(clearing throat)..."What genre of music do you think Leonard Cohen falls into?" Two minutes later, a quiet voice..."I have no idea." Husband..."soft rock?". Silence. "pop rock?". Silence. "folk rock?". Wife..."well, maybe but I don't really know."

What the heck were these two doing at the concert!!!!

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:37 pm
by scocoh
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Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:42 pm
by scocoh
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Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 11:56 pm
by B4real
scocoh wrote:Any monkey sightings in North America yet?
What a coincidence scocoh, :) I just asked that same question yesterday.
B4real wrote:I wonder if “the monkey” ;-) (Fred’s carer) has taken him on the current Old Ideas tour?
I think I remember someone saying that he was on the road again! Maybe mother MaryB knows. :)
See here: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=10371&start=14415#p319036

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:46 pm
by MaryB
Oh Bev,

You are definitely the super sleuth viewtopic.php?f=61&t=32568&p=312811&hilit=fred#p312811 , @ around 8:04 - thank you for that. I did see him in the background on the left side of the stage, in Paris, on the Sunday concert, sitting on top of the monitors/speakers :D (the side that Chris works) and I have photographic evidence of his French cousin, Jacques (with a beret) making his appearance at the Sunday show, where we were treated to that great impromptu crew 'can-can' during 'Save the Last Dance For Me'.

Well, we've got Europe covered, but the question posed by Scott was 'has he been sighted in NA' and no one has come forward.

I hereby offer a reward of one banana for someone who has sighted Fred on this leg of the tour - three bananas (perfectly good bananas, not brown-spotted mottled ones) for photographic evidence - Where's Fred?

Re: Alternative concert reports

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 2:53 pm
by chillymidnight
So glad to hear other people have these experiences - thought I was just unlucky!

In Paris I got v lucky at last min and got ticket in front row: people on my left - wonderful - on my right was a family - luckily I was sitting next to the Mum who was obviously the Leonard fan but she'd brought her husband and two teenage sons with her who were texting and fiddling with all their mobile devices all the way through - then talking loudly amongst themselves - this was right in front of Leonard! I nudged the Mum next to me and indicated that she should tell them to shut up; she did try, but I think she had no control over them. Then twice I indicated to them myself to shut up but after a few min they started again. Luckily I managed to blank them out - I had to but I was worried about Leonard having such -don't know what to call them on the forum really - idiots and worse? just in front of him talking all the time amongst themselves and ignoring him. I'm pretty sure he wasn't that bothered though as it was a fantastic concert.