A spot of light relief

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Paula
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A spot of light relief

Post by Paula »

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products, and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 3pm, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware
program, Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the
same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each
other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I then upgraded to Fianc?e 1.0, only to discover that this product
soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with THIS IS SPAM! Plus and
Cleanhouse 2003. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and
can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and WhingeExcel. These latter
products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often
crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather annoying pop-up called
Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted
to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine
has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it
tends to delete all of your Money files before uninstalling itself.

Any help on this matter would be most gratefully received.
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Pete
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Location: Evesham, England

Post by Pete »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I first saw something like this a few years ago but this seems to be a more up to date version... and even funnier.
Thanks for this Paula.

On another note
There is now a new law here that bans drivers from holding a mobile phone whilst driving.
I had quite an experience driving to work this morning.
I don't think the lady driver who swerved in front of me whilst using her mobile was aware of the new regulations.
I had to brake sharply. I nearly dropped my shaver in my cornflakes. :shock:

Pete
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Paula
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Post by Paula »

Pete you crack me up :lol: :lol:
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Makera
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Post by Makera »

Paula, :lol: Great laugh; thanks for the "crash" course in computer-incompatable conundrums.

Pete, :lol: :lol:

~Makera
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Andrew (Darby)
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Post by Andrew (Darby) »

Paula

Very clever stuff - when I read such humour, it makes me wonder if there are secret joke factories :idea: in unexpected places that work full time on producing such humour as a "community service"!?

Cheers :)
Andrew (Darby)
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Andrew (Darby)
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Post by Andrew (Darby) »

Pete

I like your wry sense of humour! :lol:

I nearly dropped my shaver in my cornflakes. :shock:
It's a good thing this didn't happen - you may well have become a cereal killer! :wink:

Cheers :)
Andrew (Darby)
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lizzytysh
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Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

:lol: Paula/Pete/Andrew :lol:
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Makera
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Post by Makera »

Watch out everyone! The serial punster's outa the box!! :lol:
Better be careful Andrew (D), you might get crowned as Punster King! :wink:

~Makera
P.S. I'm wondering, Aussies aren't the only ones who have a double meaning for 'crowned', are they?
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh »

Makera ~

Over here, it can mean getting beat over the head, as well as being adorned with the relevant headpiece.

~ Lizzy
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Andrew (Darby)
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Post by Andrew (Darby) »

Lizzy

The former fate is the one I'm more accustomed to (metaphorically speaking) :? - so, Makera is right, I'd better be careful! :wink:

Cheers
Andrew (Darby)
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Andrew (Darby)
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Post by Andrew (Darby) »

Makera

Please forgive me, but I couldn't help but share this little story with you! :wink:

Whilst serendipity has not really been a feature of my world of puns, I had to laugh the other day when it struck me that I had been referred to an ophthalmologist (eye doctor) whose name is Dr Seawright! :lol:

Cheers :)
Andrew (Darby)
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lizzytysh
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Post by lizzytysh »

Who says our names don't influence who we are and become :wink: ? That's a great one, Andrew! I wish I could remember the name of the brain surgeon I heard about, with an equally ironic name.
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Byron
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Post by Byron »

My old art teacher at school, many, many, years ago was called
Mr Drewitt. 8) True!
"Bipolar is a roller-coaster ride without a seat belt. One day you're flying with the fireworks; for the next month you're being scraped off the trolley" I said that.
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Heretic
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Post by Heretic »

I once knew a wine waiter by the name of Spillet.
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margaret
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Post by margaret »

how about the surgeon named Mr Butcher! :shock:
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